Dear MTA: Please Stop Yelling at Us!

Taking a brief break from the Roger Stone saga for a moment of Andy Rooney-esque crankiness...

Clyde Haberman writes today about the dueling anti-flyer legislation in Albany and the City Council. Governor Spitzer signed a bill into law last week, but Councilmember Simcha Felder promises to revive his own proposal if what he sees as flaws in the new law aren't addressed. Whatever works, I say -- those soggy mounds of unsolicited supermarket ads are an environmentally-malign nuisance.

Haberman says:

Safety aside, laws like this satisfy a certain Garboesque streak in New Yorkers. Sure, they accept the city’s hubbub, even embrace it. But there is also a part of them that just wants to be left alone:

Enough with panhandlers hounding them on the weary subway ride home. Enough with loud cellphone yakkers on the bus. Enough with phone solicitors interrupting dinner.

I share the sentiment, but it isn't just panhandlers harassing us on the subway. Does anyone else find the automated announcements on the new trains deeply irritating? You get the sense that the MTA has set some quota for the conductors. On my brief commute from Atlantic Avenue to Bowling Green, I'm harassed the entire way by a booming voice ordering me not to hold the car doors open while the train is in the station, not to ride or walk between the subway cars (and where I can find "a complete list of rules" should I so desire), not to ride on the outside of the train; I'm implored to help keep the subway system clean and litter-free (this one always seem to come at a higher volume), advised that my bags are subject to random search, and subjected to a needlessly-long "important reminder from the New York City Police Department," despite the fact that there are posters ("if you see something, say something") seemingly able to communicate the same message without all the wasted verbiage.

It's nice that the announcements are clear when it comes to advising us of the next stop, or even telling us that we're delayed because of train traffic ahead of us (though I could do without the condescending reminder to "please be patient"). But for a city full of harried people who might otherwise hope that their commute could be a brief moment of peace, the constant badgering by Announcement Guy seems somewhat malevolent. Do all those announcements really accomplish anything? Have they really improved transit riders' use of "trash receptacles" or cut down on the epidemic of people riding on the outside of subway cars? Mainly what they seem to do is invade the brains of tired people trying to read or relax a bit on either end of a very busy work day.

Of course, even getting off the train isn't the end of it -- walking through Bowling Green station, you're subjected to a bewildering cacophany of recorded voices explaining in great detail how to use each and every escalator (and thank God, for otherwise how would we cope with those newfangled contraptions) -- all overlapping at slightly different intervals.

So if that's my Garboesque complaint, am I the only one? Does anyone else wish the MTA would just shut up and let us ride in peace? Or is there some other element of New York life you wish would go away and leave you alone?

Paul Curtis's picture

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Bouldin's picture

Amen.

The worst part is the self-righteousness of it, as in "We apologize for the inevitable delay". Inevitable my ass.

My advice: shell out the $350 for an iPod and be done with it. It nicely cuts out the frigging mariachi bands, the Poledancers, the panhandlers, the vaguely threatening "I'm trying to stay out of trouble so give me some money" folks and the rest of it.

God, I hate the subway sometimes.

ROSALIE907's picture

MTA

Last night we got stuck twice on the F train, once for a train having door problems and the 2nd time for a train with its emergency braks on. During the entire trip the motorman and conductor couldn't make up their mind if they were only going as far as Kings Highway or to Coney Island. All they kept doing was yelling where the train was going to. They also kept telling us that the reason for the delay was because of a train with emergency braks on. Since we were stuck between Jay Street and Bergan I doubt if anyone got on while we waited.

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