I begin to suspect this campaign is all an elaborate hoax.

Republican candidate for governor Carl P. Paladino told a gathering in Williamsburg Sunday that children should not be “brainwashed” into thinking that homosexuality is acceptable, and criticized his opponent, Democrat Andrew M. Cuomo, for marching in a gay pride parade earlier this year. [..]

And then, to applause from the group at Congregation Shaarei Chaim, he said: “I didn’t march in the gay parade this year — the gay pride parade this year. My opponent did and that’s not the example we should be showing our children.”

Newsday.com reported that Mr. Paladino's prepared text also included a sentence saying: "There is nothing to be proud of in being a dysfunctional homosexual.'' But Mr. Paladino omitted that statement when he gave the speech.

Listen, idiot, this is how it works: you wake up one morning on the cusp of puberty and realize you've just had a wet dream about a boy, and you're a boy. Ooops.

And then you spend the next few years desperately trying to fit in, to out-boy all the other boys, until you finally have enough. If you're lucky, there's someone there who cares.

And then you spend the rest of your life trying to convince idiots, like you, Carl, that it's really not all about the clothes and the cosmopolitans and the dance music and the chic apartment and the menu French and the gym membership and so on and so forth.

Now here's the fun part. You're running for governor. Ask your fellow neanderthal, Harold Ford, how running against the gays worked out for him.

Bye now.